sometimes i do feel like its a bloody waste of time pouring my thoughts to others. Like, whats the whole point about seriously?? At the end of it, i feel i am truly understood. might else well just shut my trap. when i am needed, i have to be this fucken good pal. when i am down, i am outcasted. fuck this fucking feeling. I am not in a depressed state. oh boy! ):

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why do i feel that this quiet phase is putting a barrier to know him better and keeping me a distant away? ),: it happened before. i don't want this cycle to repeat itself. jealousy is breaking in but i can't bring myself to let it out. my source of distraction...bury myself in books. i'll be okay cos im LULU!!