So much for having to be good and active in whatever I do when I know that it brings nothing but the norm outcome. Am I just expecting too much for myself to achieve? Am I not trying hard enough or am I the least likable person in this planet? All I ever wanted is better life for my family and myself. Having to applause for others whom I personally feel have done lesser than I had, was by far the hardest thing to swallow. I really feel my time have been wasted here. I am not seeking attention but it would be nice to have the organisation recognizing my hard work. What will become of me when my contract ends? Will I still have a place here? Do I still have to work doubly hard to sustain a position and just be a norm grader. Stay Unknown and cry to myself in the office?

Life is unfair. Too much test. I want it to end so bad.

The suckiest place to be right now is home. After 7 years of freedom from money lenders, things have stirred up again at home. DISGUSTING. I have finally lost all respect for my father. Debts after debts. No point doing any savings. It all goes to uncalled debts. Build a future of my own? Ya right. Cos money goes on trees? 

I must have done many evils deeds in my past to be slapped with all these shit. REALLY. 

I am exerting all my energy to pretend to be alright but in reality I really feel like I am being eaten alive.

Whats hope? I seriously do not  know. I am not happy even living. At this point of time, I just wish I could give my life to someone else. Too much cruelty out here. Its just too painful. 

Worthless one.